( she's not wholly unused to this. hyunsu is divided in parts too, divisible by where the monster starts and ends. it just feels monumental that it happened to eunhyuk, her brother, who is supposed to be better than everyone simply because eunyu wants it to be so. it hurts, because in all the reunions she's imagined in her head, she never once considered he'd want nothing to do with her — that's what you get, eunyu, when you treat people like nuisances their entire lives. they move on without you. )
you're eunhyuk. you're my brother. i know he's in there and i won't stop looking for him. not ever.
( eunyu can be sad about it, and she is, but mostly — she's angry, impassioned, ready to bulldoze her way through him to get what she wants. she doesn't care what it takes. an arm or a leg or something still tender and untainted inside her — she doesn't care. all she's wanted since she realized eunhyuk wasn't following after her, is him to come back to her, to apologize for how terrible she's always been to him, to say thank you, thank you for everything. she has no intention of stopping her mission now. )
i'm not safe or alive until eunhyuk is back. he hasn't achieved shit. as far as i'm concerned, you're not off the hook.
[ but he can't argue with the thinking, even though the logic behind it is flawed. that's not how promises should work; people don't just get to decide what sticks and what doesn't, or nothing ever really sticks and nothing ever truly matters.
he knows it is easy to discard the argument and just continue on as he would. but what would he think? what would he risk for the sake of one person, even if that person isn't worth the lives of so many others?
hyunsu was worth it because hyunsu has seen a way back, a way to drag minds away from the edge of madness and keep the humanity they need to become more than just human or just monster. lee eunyu is just a girl.
( i want my brother back, she thinks. i want the last year and change to be some kind of bad dream. i want to be a dancer in the korean national ballet, and have people from all over the world come to watch me perform. i want someone to always be watching me, whether i'm dancing or not. i want to feel protected. i want to never, ever be lonely again. )
[ it's never been about permission in the end, was it? all these lines drawn, and the rules that came along with them — they're the only two people in the world who even understands where the pretense begins and ends. they want things for themselves, because they're the same things they want for one another.
then i want you to work with me, to help you. we'll make a deal.
( what deal? she's working on it — it was comparatively easy to figure out a deal with hyunsu, who's easy enough to please with a little attention. eunhyuk? she'll have to think about it. what is it he really wants?
eunyu, she thinks, which is lucky, because it's all she has. )
i know. i'll be there. it's better than making him sit outside my door. which is what he was offering, like some dog.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
you're eunhyuk. you're my brother.
i know he's in there and i won't stop looking for him. not ever.
( eunyu can be sad about it, and she is, but mostly — she's angry, impassioned, ready to bulldoze her way through him to get what she wants. she doesn't care what it takes. an arm or a leg or something still tender and untainted inside her — she doesn't care. all she's wanted since she realized eunhyuk wasn't following after her, is him to come back to her, to apologize for how terrible she's always been to him, to say thank you, thank you for everything. she has no intention of stopping her mission now. )
i'm not safe or alive until eunhyuk is back. he hasn't achieved shit.
as far as i'm concerned, you're not off the hook.
no subject
[ but he can't argue with the thinking, even though the logic behind it is flawed. that's not how promises should work; people don't just get to decide what sticks and what doesn't, or nothing ever really sticks and nothing ever truly matters.
he knows it is easy to discard the argument and just continue on as he would. but what would he think? what would he risk for the sake of one person, even if that person isn't worth the lives of so many others?
hyunsu was worth it because hyunsu has seen a way back, a way to drag minds away from the edge of madness and keep the humanity they need to become more than just human or just monster. lee eunyu is just a girl.
eunhyuk's girl. ]
what do you want? you have to say it, exactly.
no subject
i just want to be near you
no subject
[ it's never been about permission in the end, was it? all these lines drawn, and the rules that came along with them — they're the only two people in the world who even understands where the pretense begins and ends. they want things for themselves, because they're the same things they want for one another.
everything but honesty. ]
hyunsu wants you moved in with us.
no subject
we'll make a deal.
( what deal? she's working on it — it was comparatively easy to figure out a deal with hyunsu, who's easy enough to please with a little attention. eunhyuk? she'll have to think about it. what is it he really wants?
eunyu, she thinks, which is lucky, because it's all she has. )
i know. i'll be there.
it's better than making him sit outside my door. which is what he was offering, like some dog.